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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

08.06.2025 00:00

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

Why are so many people anti-Trump? People didn't like Obama either, but he was the president, so people didn't do this. What makes Trump different?

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By taking turns talking.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

What do people with very high IQs do all day?

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.